My Home Birth Plan

Ethan's first day in the hospital.

People love knowing other people's business, it's why we all love reality TV right?  Please don't think that I'm judging, I'll be the first to make a bag of popcorn and binge watch 5 hours of the Kardashians.  For that reason I realized that I never shared my birth plan and that there may be people out there that are curious.  I'm going to start by giving some background info on my last birth plan.

Ethan's Birth

When I was pregnant with Ethan I had a midwife and was planning on having a homebirth.  I also had an OB that I met with in case I had to transfer to the hospital.  I went into labor the day before my due date and everything was textbook. I thought to myself, "Wow I'm going to pop this little guy out in like 10 hours, yes!" Fast forward 16 hours into heavy labor and I was still 2 cm. dilated.  My contractions were every 2 minutes and I was having 2-3 at a time.  I was 100% effaced but I just wasn't dilating.  I was having excruciating back labor and to this day we've wondered if I was just in too much pain to relax and dilate.  At that point my midwife and I decided that I was going to go to the hospital to receive whatever intervention was needed.  At the hospital I had pitocin, epidural, and my water broken.  I know what you're thinking. I went from planning a homebirth to having practically every intervention.  I've always been the kind of person that loves to plan and be prepared, but as I've gotten older I've realized that they are just plans, nothing is set in stone, and I need to be flexible when things don't go the way I expected them to.  That's exactly what I did. I had really wanted a homebirth but that didn't work out, so I was open to the new plan, a vaginal birth in the hospital.

It took 9 more hours before I was fully dilated and then 2.5 hours of pushing.  I was exhausted and running a fever, Ethan's heartbeat became irregular and at that point the doctor told me he really needed to get Ethan out.  My OB knew that as open to change as I was I did not want a C-section as long as it was safe for Ethan and me. So he suggested an episiotomy and vacuum extraction and I said, "YES!"  The NICU was there but Ethan was given a clean bill of health in what felt like 5 seconds and handed to me as quickly as possible.  I had my little miracle, and still couldn't believe he was mine to take home.

The Aftermath

The day after giving birth to Ethan, I have to admit, was a difficult day for me.  I kept asking myself why I knew so many women who were able to give birth at home but I wasn't.  Why was my body 100% effaced but not dilating?  Was I not as strong as other women? Was there something wrong with my body?  I didn't feel regret at having gone to the hospital, or at having received the interventions, because in my heart I knew that that's what I had needed to get through the birth, but I was disappointed in the fact that my body hadn't worked the way millions of other women's bodies worked.  After talking to my midwife and some very supportive friends and family who had had their children both at home and in the hospital, I came to realize that it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't my body's fault.  I was grateful for having the opportunity to labor at home, and I felt that I received wonderful care both at home and at the hospital.

Current Birth Plan

You're probably thinking that after all that I must be planning on having Alice in the hospital.  It's quite the opposite actually.  The care that I received throughout my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum were so extraordinary that I was more than happy to give homebirth another try.  I really love my midwife and OB and I trust them completely.  I feel that they made all the right calls during my birth and in the end I did get a vaginal birth, which had been my main goal.  Just like last time, I have all of my homebirth supplies ready, but I also have my hospital bag set to go.  I would love to be able to birth Alice at home, but I've been praying that whatever is safest for my baby and myself is what comes to fruition.  I have complete faith that, just like last time, we will be taken care of and although I nervously await the event, I can't wait to meet my little girl.

Product Tuesday: The Jim Gaffigan Show

*Like all of my Product Tuesday posts this post is not sponsored by anyone, especially not the Jim Gaffigan show.  Although it would be a dream of mine to be contacted by the network representing his show I'm sure their advertising team has better places to advertise than on obscure mom blogs.  If his show does advertise on mom blogs then I think it's time to get a new advertisement team Jim.

My favorite comedian is Jim Gaffigan.  If you have not heard of him you need to finish reading my post and then watch the clips I have included, the man is hilarious.  He jokes about being a dad, loving fast food, disliking healthy food, it's like he's reading my mind!  One of my favorite aspects of his stand-up is that he doesn't cuss (yes, I'm one of those old people that thinks there's too much cussing on The MTV), and is the kind of comedian I could watch with my mom, which is a major plus.  I have comedians I enjoy, but none that I relate to as much as him.

For our anniversary Jeff and I are going to be going to his stand-up comedy show in Los Angeles and I can't contain how excited I am to see him in person.  His last stand-up special is on Netflix and is entitled Mr. Universe. If you haven't watched it I highly recommend it. He has also written 2 books, Dad is Fat and Food: A Love Story.  Which I have not read but plan on reading, since I have so much free time on my hands of course.

Even more exciting than all the cool things I've already mentioned is the real reason for this post.  On July 15th The Jim Gaffigan Show will be premiering on TV Land.  I already watched the first 2 episodes on iTunes and they are hysterical.  After Ethan went to bed Jeff and I had a full on laugh fest watching Jim's show, which portrays his life with his wife and 5 children in a 2 bedroom apartment in New York.

For your viewing pleasure I've attached some of my favorite YouTube clips of Jim Gaffigan and I highly recommend that you tune in to his show.


Deep down we all love McDonald's, I know I do...

I often quote Jim when people ask me why I'm having a homebirth.

Eating our Veggies

Ethan is really good at finding Zucchinis.

If you talk to my mom about my childhood she loves telling stories about what a picky eater I was.  She constantly reminded me that if I had children that were picky eaters it was only fair for all the grief I had put her through.  As an adult I wasn't much better, but being married to someone that was once hoping to become a chef doesn't lend itself to being a picky eater.  Ever since we started dating Jeff has worked very hard to break me of my food aversions, and he's done a really good job.  Once we had Ethan we came up with a game plan for how we'd make our son a wonderful eater with a very diverse pallet.  Like all new parents we had no idea what we were talking about.  Ethan was a really good eater at first but once he realized he could say no to things, we literally had meals where all he did was lick the ketchup off of his food.

Now that the summer has started we have found that growing our own vegetables really helps with his eating.  He loves going into the garden, finding the ripe fruits and vegetables, and helping us pick them.  Most of the time they don't even make it inside, he usually eats the cherry tomatoes and green beans right off of the vine.  Which is fine by me, as long as it's getting eaten I don't care when or where it's happening.

Most bloggers would now go into a lengthy description of how to tend a garden but I am well known for my black thumb.  I am very proud of the succulents that I've kept alive for almost a year now.  Before you tell me that succulents are impossible to kill, making my feat unimpressive, you must know that this is my 3rd attempt at growing succulents.  Like all of the things that people find impressive about our home I give Jeff full credit for our garden.

The moral of this post is that if you want your kids to eat more vegetables try growing some and involving them in the process.  If you live in a small apartment or condo no need to worry, I know plenty of people that grow tomatoes and other small fruits and veggies on their balconies or condo porches.  The second moral is don't take any gardening advice from me, but you're in luck. Since the internet was invented we have the world at our fingertips, so you can just Google it!

Peaches

Lemons

Zucchinis

Tomatoes

Raspberries

Sweet Peppers

Green Beans

Unfortunately, these are the tomato vultures, they've eaten more tomatoes than we have.

Product Tuesday: burnish jewelry

The gold nugget necklace that I purchased to
symbolize Ethan's pregnancy.

*I was not compensated for this post.  This is a product that I love, have purchased, and wanted to share with my readers.

One of my most hated activities is buying gifts for people.  I get so stressed out trying to find the perfect gift, worrying that they'll already have it, or won't like it.  For that reason, every Tuesday I'll be posting my favorite products and shops.  Whenever I discover a new shop that allows me to buy those that I love interesting and unique gifts, I quickly take advantage; so I figured my readers would enjoy recommendations as much as I do.

When I was pregnant with Ethan I really wanted to purchase a piece of jewelry that would symbolize my pregnancy.  I found a shop on etsy named burnish jewelry that I am in love with!  The jewelry from burnish is handmade and their business is based in Alaska.  I bought the Rose Gold Nuggets Necklace and it quickly became one of my favorite pieces of jewelry.  Not only is it beautiful, but it's really well made and has withstood a toddler pulling on it with all his force.

Since I love burnish jewelry so much I decided to make it a tradition that every time I was pregnant I would choose a special piece of jewelry from their shop to represent my pregnancy.  For Alice's arrival I chose the Rose Gold Moonstone Necklace and once again was taken aback by it's beauty and craftsmanship.  I ordered it with a 16 in. chain because the Gold Nuggets Necklace has a 17 in. chain, and now I'm able to layer them or wear them separately.

The moonstone necklace I bought to symbolize
Alice's pregnancy.

If you're looking for a special piece of jewelry either for yourself or someone you love I highly recommend visiting burnish jewelry.  The only drawback is every time I visit the site I'm tempted to buy something. Happy shopping!

Do you have any special traditions that you started when you had your little ones?

Home Remedies to Prevent a Cold

The rule in our house is that mom can never get sick
because all of my sick days are reserved for everyone else!

My mom is an RN, and an amazing one at that, but growing up she always took the home remedy/ herbal route before resorting to western medicine.  This all stemmed from growing up in Mexico without much access to a doctor, pharmacy, or hospital.  My grandmother, Eulalia, the queen of home remedies, could cure anything that ailed you with the herbs in her garden.  Over the years I have really appreciated growing up with this knowledge.  Knowing how to use everyday items to help prevent a cold, or soothe a stomach ache, is something that unfortunately has been lost on my generation.  That is one of the reasons that I try really hard to remember all of the remedies that my mom teaches me.

The Garlic Remedy

The remedies that I have used non-stop since leaving home are the ones that help prevent colds.  Since I was six years old my mom has used this cold remedy on me.  Many studies have been done on the medicinal properties of garlic.  It has been found that garlic is an immune booster and has great antibacterial properties as well.  The key to both of the remedies that I will mention in this post is that they are preventative.  If you take this remedy while you are sick, although I'm sure it helps, it will definitely not have the same result.  Once people around you start getting sick you take the garlic remedy even if you are not feeling sick, it's your way of protecting yourself.  Or if no one you know is sick and one day you feel a small tickle in your throat, immediately start the garlic remedy.

So what is the garlic remedy?  It's very simple.

1 lemon wedge
1 clove of garlic
pinch of salt (optional)

1. Cut a lemon wedge.
2. Crush a raw clove of garlic.
3. Put the crushed garlic on the lemon wedge and sprinkle some salt on it (for taste of course, because while the garlic is burning your throat that little bit of salt makes all the difference).
4. You must not take this remedy on an empty stomach or the intensity of the garlic will probably make you throw up.  I like to eat a slice of toast before taking the garlic.
5. After taking the garlic do not drink water for 20 minutes, you'll be stinky but that way you're not washing the garlic out of your mouth and throat.
6. If I already have a tickle in my throat when I start this, then I take the garlic 2-4 times a day, depending on how much I have to interact with people.  If it's a work-night I take it twice in the evening, if it's the weekend then I take it 4 times.  I take the garlic until the sore throat goes away, which depending on how soon I start, can be anywhere from 2-3 days.  If people around me are sick and I'm not showing symptoms then I take it once a day.

The Fear Factor Remedy

Whenever I drink the Fear Factor Remedy I definitely hear
Joe Rogan giving me words of encouragement.

I don't know if this remedy has an actual name but my mom and her friends have named it Fear Factor because it sounds like something Joe Rogan would have made you drink 5 gallons of on the show "Fear Factor". Although this remedy sounds more intense than the garlic remedy I actually prefer it because it doesn't make me smell like garlic.  The same principles apply to this remedy as the garlic remedy, it is preventative so it's best taken when those around you are sick.  For the past 2 weeks Ethan and I have been sick and Jeff has been taking the Fear Factor remedy and hasn't been affected by our germs, thank goodness.  The reason I didn't take it was because I've had terrible heartburn during this pregnancy and although I did take a few doses, my digestive system was not able to handle it.  Looking back I should have put up with the heartburn to have prevented this terrible cold.

Now for the big reveal, The Fear Factor Remedy:

1 piece of ginger (about 5 inches long)
1 piece of raw horse radish (about 5 inches long)
1 head of garlic
12 habanero peppers
1 liter of unfiltered organic apple cider vinegar

1. Shred the ginger and horseradish in a cheese grater into a blender.
2. Peel all of the cloves of garlic and add them to the blender.
3. Take the stems off of the habanero and add it to the blender.
4. Pour as much of the apple cider vinegar as you can into the blender and blend everything together.
5. Pour the mixture into a wide mouthed jar (my mom likes to put saran wrap around the mouth and then close it with the lid to keep it sealed well).
6. Put the jar in a dark, cool place and every day you will swirl the solution well.
7. After two weeks of swirling the solution strain all of the chunks out of the vinegar and the vinegar that is left is your Fear Factor Remedy.
8.  You can put it in smaller jars or keep it all in a large jar, there is not need to refrigerate it but we do keep it in a dark, cool place.
9.  Do not take this on an empty stomach.  If those around you are sick take 1 Tbsp. of the remedy once a day.  If you are feeling a tickle in your throat already take 2-4 Tbsp. a day (not all at the same time though).

If there are any mom's out there that are also doomsday preppers by night we always joke that if the zombies attacked or the governemnt collapsed (whatever scenario you're preparing for), this Fear Factor Remedy would be a great defense against getting sick once the grid goes down, so make sure to store this remedy and it's ingredients in your bomb shelter.

I know this remedy sounds insane but it isn't any worse than eating the raw garlic, I see them on the same level as far as spiciness but I find the Fear Factor to be better at preventing colds.  If you ever find yourself to be the only healthy person in a house full of what looks like the cast of The Walking Dead I highly recommend you give one of these remedies a try.

I'm not a mind reader!

This is Professor X from the X-Men.  He is a telepath,
unfortunately Jeff and I are not.

Jeff and I have worked hard to have good communication in our marriage.  I know that it's the foundation of a good marriage, and I had always felt it was one of our strong suits.  Once Ethan was born, the stress of a new baby, combined with lack of sleep, led to some major breakdowns in communication.  Whether it was the lack of sleep or the stress, all of a sudden I expected Jeff to have telepathic powers.  I'd come into the living room after nursing Ethan and putting him down and would notice that the house was a complete mess, the dishes were piled high, and Jeff was sitting on the couch watching T.V.  Barely able to control my anger I would make a loud sigh and say, "The house is such a mess and I need to do the dishes but I'm exhausted so I'm going to bed."

This is what I expected Jeff to hear:
"This parenting thing is so much harder than I ever imagined.  I have a little human connected to me non-stop and I'm more tired than I ever thought was even possible.  I should eat dinner, shower, and clean the house but honestly I think I have just enough energy to make it to our bed and collapse.  The worst part of it all is that I'm going to be up in 2 hours to nurse Ethan, how the heck am I going to do this?  I don't expect you to clean the house because I know you're working really hard and are tired too but could you at least do the dishes please?  It would also really help me out if you picked up a little while you watch T.V., nothing big just the living room.  I know you already do all of the cooking and household duties are split 50/50 between you and me, but i'm drowning and I need it to be 80/20 for a little while."

This is what Jeff actually heard:
"The house is such a mess and I need to do the dishes but I'm exhausted."

I would then go to bed and in my head I would think, tomorrow when I wake up Jeff is going to surprise me by having cleaned the house and done the dishes because the message I sent him was totally clear and easy to understand.  I'd wake up the next morning to find everything as I had left it.  This would go on for a few days, me dropping subtle hints that I needed help, Jeff looking around nodding and going back to what he was doing.  I finally couldn't take it anymore and broke down.  I yelled at him, I told him it was all too much, I asked him why he wasn't helping more.

Jeff's response was priceless, "You never asked me to."  He explained how he really wanted to help but I had never asked for help, or told him what needed to be done.  I said, "I kept telling you I was tired and that the house was dirty." His response was, "I thought you just wanted me to know that so I agreed with you."  At that moment I realized that my husband is not part of the X-Men and all of the hints I had been dropping meant nothing to him, he just thought I was venting. I asked him, "So if I want you to wash the dishes all I have to do is ask you to wash the dishes?" He said, "Yea!"  Talk about a major aha moment.  If I want my husband to help me all I need to do is ask him for help, how crazy is that?

This realization changed our whole dynamic; the bickering stopped.  More things were getting done and I didn't feel as overwhelmed.  Although I know this seems like an obvious solution while talking to a lot of my friends and family this is a problem that comes up a lot in conversation.  Sometimes when I talk to Jeff I swear he hears the Charlie Brown teacher voice and just nods his head so as not to anger the pregnant beast that he lives with.  Although nothing can ever be perfect, I do try really hard to keep in mind the fact that my husband is not a telepath. After all, some days it feels as if it's us against the 2-year-old monster that seems to be getting angrier by the minute.  How on earth can one small child be so strong? Jeff and I may not be X-Men but after diffusing a major 2-year-old meltdown, we definitely feel like we can conquer the world together, and without communication, no dynamic duo would ever last (I really wish I had a cool comic book superhero drawing of Jeff that I could insert here).

Cafeteria Mom

I really love cafeteria food, and I think it's because
I've always enjoyed having different choices.

There are so many labels out there for different parenting styles. While talking to a friend and mentioning all of the different types she said, "It's like speaking a new language."  It can feel confusing and overwhelming.  What's even worse is when you as a parent do not fit in or agree completely with any one philosophy or way of doing things.

When I first became a mom I found myself really wanting to connect with other moms.  All of my friends that had kids lived far away and I wanted to be able to go to play dates and meet with people in person that could provide me with the support that I needed.  I started joining Facebook mom groups. Groups that were supposed to be inclusive and a safe space for moms to speak their minds.  I soon found out this wasn't the case, at least not for me.  Every group I joined had a parenting style that they preferred, and if I didn't agree with that style I was wrong and they were right.  I began to feel really angry, isolated, and picked on.  I wondered why I couldn't find somewhere where I belonged. 

 I began to reminisce about my teenage years and realized that this is a problem I've always had.  Growing up I never followed the path everyone else I knew did.  In high school I was a 4-H kid (think farm animals, agriculture, country music, and cowboy boots) that loved indie music and vampire books (that was way before Twilight made vampires popular).  In college I was an English major who had grown up speaking a different language, and I even had someone say to me, "You don't meet very many English majors of Mexican descent." He didn't say it to be rude, it was totally true! At least on our campus.  

As an adult I once again encountered this dilemma. To make it a little clearer I'll run through some of the different parenting styles and methods I follow.  Before having Ethan I read the book Bringing up Bebe and it really resonated with me.  The French form of parenting made a lot of sense and fit my personality.  Parts of French parenting of course didn't sit well, but I chose what I liked and let go of what I didn't, that's my style.  On the opposite side of that spectrum I had always grown up wanting to have a natural child birth, and upon researching I had decided that I wanted to try having a homebirth; I was also very dedicated to breastfeeding my child and pumping while at work.  Once I had Ethan I got really into babywearing.  Although, I also used my stroller regularly because sometimes I was tired and didn't feel like wearing my baby.  Once I started work I found that sleep training would be a necessity if I wanted to make it through the next year, and that Ethan would need to sleep in his own room.  We sleep trained Ethan but hoping to do a better job with the second baby, I am planning on trying some of the methods in the book On Becoming Baby Wise.  Just like with Bringing up Bebe there are parts of the book I agree with, and parts I don't, so I don't plan on making it my ultimate guide to child rearing but there are definitely aspects of the book that have helped me set a plan for how I'll sleep train this second time around.  I'm also very into homeopathic and natural remedies, while being a full supporter of vaccinations.

This is where my dilemma comes in, I have never been able to commit to one form of living or thinking, and I never will.  All of the methods I mentioned above are borrowed from parenting styles that are all so different that moms from each group have famously waged different sides of the Mommy Wars.  All of this has brought me to the term I often use jokingly, I am a Cafeteria Mom! I am never going to commit to one form of parenting or one ideal, I love being able to pick and choose what works for me and my family and what doesn't.  If you're the type of parent that is part of a parenting community that you completely agree with, then awesome! If you're like me and have never quite felt like you belonged anywhere, just know that you're not alone.